Personal development (growth) will not occur until the "pain" of staying the same exceeds the "pain" of change.

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13 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
     and He saved them from their distress.
14 He brought them out of darkness,
     the utter darkness, and broke away their chains.
15 Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing
    love and His wonderful deeds for mankind,
16 for He breaks down gates of bronze
     and cuts through bars of iron.

Psalm 107

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You can give without loving, but you can't love without giving.

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